This was how my day played, Tuesday,08-03-10:
3:30am- Awakened by my youngest crying, "Mommy."
3:45am- Checked on said child. Re-tucked, kissed and told child to go to sleep.
3:46am- looked at alarm clock
4:45am- Having never fallen back to sleep, got up to use the restroom.
4:47am- woke husband as an attempt of "tiring myself out."
5:00am- went to closet and picked out my clothes for the day.
5:10am- climbed back into bed.
7:30am- woke and made myself a cup of coffee
7:35am- sat on couch and sipped coffee
7:36am- picked out different clothes and ironed them
7:50am- donned new clothes and plugged in iron for my hair
8:15am- wearing freshly ironed clothes with freshly ironed hair I opened garage and unlocked door for my mother-in-law.
8:15am- cell phone rang. answered cell phone.
8:15am- put my foot in my mouth.
8:25am- mother-in-law arrives.
8:26am- kids wake up.
8:30am- fix children juice cups. Try to remove said foot from my mouth, yet continue to gnaw on my toes.
8:45am- get off the phone and begin to command my children to get ready.
9:10am- put children and mother-in-law in the car.
9:11am- returned to house to refill sippy cup.
9:12am- returned to the car with full sippy.
9:13am- urgently ran back into the house to type a hasty email in effort to get bad taste of foot from my mouth.
9:20am- returned to car. drove 3/4 a mile down road. called doctor to tell that we late. turned around to get umbrella.
9:21am- pulled into drive way. searched for umbrella.
9:23am- on road.
9:25am- was too busy talking to mother -in-law to realize that I was driving the long way to Augusta.
9:30am- stopped to put gas in car.
9:45am- hit heavy rain... while on interstate. slow d-r-i-v-i-n-g...
10:25am- Arrived at front desk of doctor's office with four children and one brave mother-in law.
10:38am- get called back to room with the two boys(5yrs and 18mo) and waited for doctor while my youngest screamed at the top of his lungs. Held 27lbs of angry baby.
10:39am- sang "Under the Bamboo Tree." continued to hold heavy baby
10:39.5am- sang, "If Your Happy and You Know it." continued to hold the monster baby
10:40am- sang, "The Canoe Song." while baby continued to cry while I held him. Thanks Camp Pinnacle for all the songs
10:41am- played "find a white car" out of the doctor's room window with older son. Baby sniffed... and cried.
10:42am- began to jump while holding baby. baby laughed.
10:43am- continued to jump while holding monstrous 27lb baby
10:48am- Doctor entered while I was singing, playing "find that car" and jumping up and down while holding Monstro.
10:48.2am- baby began to cry while big brother covered his ears.
10:50am- 10:59am- Doctor, big brother and I yelled over Monstro while trying to discus big brother's health.
11:00am- Doctor began physical of Monstro. Monstro had to be restrained...
11:10am- Doctor is done with physical. Monsrto proceeded to kick me while doctor and I hollered at each other over his tantrum. Big bro behaved as if nothing unusual was occurring.... Nothing unusual was occurring. Doctor and I yelled at each other some more.
11:11am- Doctor suggested that I just let Monstro pitch a fit on the floor.
11:12am- Doctor and big brother had to go to another room to do the hearing test because Monstro would not cease.
11:14am- Doctor returned with big bro to tell me big bro has passed his hearing test... Which is amazing because at this point I couldn't hear a damn thing.
11:15am- Monstro was flopping on the floor like a fish while screaming. He and Big Bro stepped out for the eye exam.
11:20am- Doctor returned to room with Monstro the giant whale flopping on floor. Doctor had red bucket and shot in hand.
11:21am- Doctor gave Monstro something to cry about. Think I saw a smirk spread across doctor's face.
11:35am- finally got all four children back in car with sucker's in hand. Mom-in-law and I changed diapers.
11:45am- Finally fed my children their first meal of the day. All ate.
12:10pm- Went to "Kid to Kid" consignment shop to make cash/ credit of old items.
12:30pm- arrived at Kolh's for school shopping. fighting. shopping. Depart $116.00 less richer than I arrived.
1:20pm- arrived at Kid to Kid to redeem credit. pooped. shopped. purchased new/newer items without paying.
1:22pm- changed diaper
2:00pm- exited Kid-to Kid.
2:10pm- tried shopping at Ross. visited water fountains. Ross sucked. Parted empty handed.
2:15pm- Entered Marshal's... Marshal's sucked less. Again, left empty handed.
2:30pm- Braved, Academy Sports. fought. tried on ten's of shoes. screamed. hit. kicked. shopped book bags. nagged. complained. begged. fought. pouted.
3:30pm- Escaped Academy Sports $90.00 poorer.
3:45pm- drove interstate- longed for home. Kids slept, fought, nagged,and slept.
4:55pm- arrived home. all were safe. all were sound... yet not all of sound mind.
5:00pm- Entered house with shopping bags to find husband playing video games.
5:15pm- Brave mother-in-law retreated to her home.
5:15pm-7:35pm- Blurred, involved a fashion show with the two oldest and the eating of left over Chinese food.
7:35pm-9:15pm- I retreated to the computer while children asked me questions they could have asked their father.
9:15pm-9:30pm- laid on the floor with children and watched the end of Spider-Man 3.
9:45pm- After tucking all the children in to bed, I drank half a bottle of water, read half a chapter of a novel and fell asleep.
Here is what I learned today:
1) wear the clothes that you pick out at 5:00 in the morning. If it was so important that you had to pick them out at 5am- why change your mind? OR- Don't pick out clothes at 5am.
2) Never answer the phone if you do not have time to talk.
3) I should fill my car with gas the night prior to going somewhere.
4) I should pack the car the night before with drink pouches and snacks
5) a 27lbs baby doubles in size and strength when he is pissed-off (kinda like the Hulk).
6) School uniforms really would be helpful to a parent.
7) my six year old thinks shes should dress like a 16 year old
8) commercials are superb in brainwashing kids. To my children ," as seen on TV" means "awesome."
9) If it is bright, tacky, has characters on it, and cost 3 times the norm.- a six year old is drawn to it like a prostitute to Charlie Sheen.
10) If I am a muddled mother... then my mother-in law must be extremely brave or extremely foolish.
